If your parents kick you out of their house......

Sin duda todos hemos tenido fricciones con nuestros padres sobre todo con el modo en el que llevamos nuestra vida y tomamos decisiones, visitando uno de mis blogs favoritos me encontré con una anecdota muy cagada y divertida que seguro se divertirán leyéndola tanto como yo lo hice y por eso quise publicarla. trata acerca de un wy que fué desalojado por sus propios padres haha.

My parents kicked me out of the house. I lived in a drug dealer’s apartment for several weeks, until he expected me to pay him rent with sexual favors. I found a cozy nook underneath the Main Street bridge. Every night, I curl up on a piece of cardboard, and find myself doing something I haven’t done since I became an atheist at 6 years old–I pray. I pray to any one who will listen: God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, Allah, Osama Bin Laden, Barry Obama. I pray hard.

One morning I came downstairs expecting to pour myself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast crunch and eat it on the couch while watching reruns of Project Runway and The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Both of my parents were waiting at the table for me. They had my pipe on the table, as well as 1 gram of dank, a lil bump of coke, a stack of pornographic DVDs, and a poster board of LSD. They said “What is this?”

I replied, “I’m sorry. I’m going through an experimental phase.”

Mom: “Experiment my ass!”

Me: “It’s not like you never did any experimenting during ur youth.”
Dad: “We don’t want you to make the same mistakes that we did.”
Mom: “Your dad is right.”
Me: “I don’t even know why you’re confronting me about this when u have problems of your own.”
Mom: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Your dad and I are doing well.”
Me: “You know dad cheated on you with that waitress from Chili’s. I can hear through the walls at night.”
Dad: “That’s enough!”
(mom starts sobbing uncontrollably, leaves the room…silence for 5 minutes)
Me: Well… are you done? I’m going to eat some CTC (cinna toast crunch).
Dad: Listen to me you little shit. I brought you into this world with my semen, and I can take you the fuck out. If you want to live under this roof, you need to get your shit together, and respect me.
Me: Why did you cheat on mom?
Dad: I didn’t cheat on your mother….we’re not getting into this. I left a cup that I need you to fill up with pee. Please go do that soon.
Me: Why do you need to drug test me if you know I am already on drugs?
Dad: Once again, this is about respect.
Me: I don’t respect you.
Dad: Get the fuck out of my house!!!.
Me: FINE.

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